I’m full of random tidbits of knowledge, and I put this to the test at weekly trivia.

Tonight we, The Cult of Darkness, won the $50 bar tab by successfully outwitting our opponents. The categories were:

• Nickelodeon
• Sports Movies
• Gen Ed’s
• Music

I have 3 answers that won the game.

1. What was Nickelodeon’s version of American Gladiators in the 90’s?
GUTS

2. Who is the only president to serve two terms that were not consecutive?
GROVER CLEVELAND

3. What is the name derived from ancient Palestinians meaning someone who  is lacking in or hostile or smugly indifferent to cultural values, intellectual pursuits, aesthetic refinement, etc., or is contentedly commonplace in ideas and tastes.
PHILISTINE!!!

I’m not sure which answer is my favorite, but no one even believed me that “Philistine” is even a word! It hurt my soul to be doubted so.

Other answers included:

• “The Midnight Society” (What was the name of the group from “are you afraid of the dark)
  
• Sam (Who was Clarissa’s best friend?)
• Salute Your Shorts (What show took place at camp “Annawanna?”)
• TLC (Who sand the “All That” theme song?”)
• Banjo (What was Doug’s favorite instrument?)

Oh man, what a trip down memory lane man. I literally knew every single answer to that category.

Long live The Cult of Darkness.

Dear Allegiant Airlines,

I thank you greatly for starting to fly direct to San Francisco from Missoula, however, the trip that I have planned is 4 weeks before you actually START  flying there directly.

It hurts my soul to knowingly have to pay $100 more than I should. You could have waited until April to tell me about the new fantastically cheap direct flights from Missoula to San Francisco.

Thanks for crushing my soul.

Way better than returning the snow to its natural habitat

Question: What is your favorite thing about a big “Montana” snowstorm?
Answer: Snow cream, most definitely snow cream.

To make snow cream you will need:

1 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
1tsp. vanilla
Large bow of fresh snow
(I also like to add a pinch of salt- it adds depth to the flavor)

Combine milk, sugar, salt and vanilla. Add snow 1 cup at a time and stir until an ice cream like consistency is achieved.

**Note: ALWAYS make sure the snow is clean. It takes at least one to two hours of snowfall for the pollutants from the air to be filtered out, then only use fresh snow that has fallen after.
Also, make sure not to be a dumbass and use snow from areas that animals eat or defecate.**

The bottom 12” of my pants are completely soaked just from stepping out onto the porch for a smoke sesh.

La Nina finally decided to make her appearance here in the great ol’ Big Sky Country.

I’m over at my good friend Draya’s house for some quality day drinking, and we’re now trapped inside her house as all exits have been snowed in and frozen shut.

We’ve got the bottle of crown and the bottle of the finest “cola” that Harvest Foods had to offer and Netflix.

Bigfoot has never been so interesting

Story of my life.

Take the nearest book to you turn to p.45, the first sentence will describe your sex life in 2012:

Papa decided one morning to go and get Sam to help repair the roof on the chicken coop before winter set in.
“When the Meadowlark Sings” Nedra Sterry

I’m not sure how to feel about this projected forecast…

On New Year’s Eve I attended a fantastic concert in the great city of Seattle. I somehow always manage to wind up alone at these shows which in turn gets me into trouble.

As I sat alone enjoying my gin a man came and sat down next to me, he proceeded to introduce himself. His name I cannot pronounce nor remember, and he said that he was from “Russ- I mean- Eastern Asia” and moved to Seattle 2 years ago. He also told me that he was a “boss” at the establishment and he could “get whatever I want.”

Oh yeah, his brother just moved from “Eastern Asia” but wasn’t old enough to get in the bar.

I quickly finished my drink, told the man it was nice to meet him and that I needed to go find my friend downstairs. He followed, then when downstairs guides me over to his “brother” so he can introduce me.

“You look like you speak Russian, or that you have some “Eastern Asian” in your blood.”

They then told me that they had booze out in their vehicle and that I should “go and have a drink.”

Now, at this point I’ve got warning bells ringing in my ears- too many red flags.

1. Thick Slavic accent
2. Trying to seduce me, creepily might I add
3. Offering me alcohol
4. Asking to hang out in an undisclosed location
5. Strange distant relatives from far away, vague locations
6. Following me
7. Grasping of the hand/leading

Add all those items up and what comes to mind?
SEX TRAFFICKING

No thank you.

I went to the merchandise counter and tried to shop myself out of a creepy situation and luckily a very good looking and kind fellow was willing to assist me in my plight. He said that I could point him out as my boyfriend if need be.

The “Eastern Asians” asked if he was my brother, I remember saying something along the lines of him being my “favorite person.” With that they took their leave, off to find another girl.

Sorry sir- being drugged, raped, then sold off as a sex slave is just not how I picture spending my new year thank you.